Openness

When it comes to preventing or resolving conflict, I tend to champion 2 things: communication and self-reflection.

Self-reflection because it leads to self awareness, and self awareness is essential for emotional intelligence.  If you want to be more effective in dealing with other people, you need strong emotional intelligence.  I'll blog about that more some other time.

Communication because most conflict is due to misunderstandings.  Communication, which is the expression, reception and interpretation of information, can be our greatest tool to clarify misunderstandings.  I can express where I'm at.  I can clarify whether I understand where you are at.  And combined with self reflection, I can assess my interpretation to reach a better understanding of the dynamics between us both.

In which case, could social media be hailed as a harbinger of hope?  Social media has enabled communication as never been seen before in human history.  The networks have become global.  Access is not limited to class.  Ability to use it does not require much education.  Major advances in translator tools are breaking down borders.  And it's all accessible, 24/7, from your pocket.  We have the potential to pave the way to greater global understanding.

Daleks are just lonely

Now of course, technology is neither good nor evil.  It's just technology.  Whether it's our boon or our devastation depends on how we choose to use it.

But let's just stick with the positive slant, to see where that road leads us.

One trend I'm noticing right now is the erosion of privacy.  This sounds threatening to those who were raised in cultures that reinforce "privacy" as a value.  And yet it's not just tweens posting about the length of their toenail clippings.  Professionals are also now displaying their personal lives alongside their work lives.  Office places have employee profiles on their web page.  A journalist tweets about the weekend party she attended.  LUSH puts the faces of their manufacturers on their hand made products.

This hyper sharing can sometimes be perceived as annoying.  Or dangerous.  It can cause us shame.  It makes us vulnerable.

But sometimes I find it comforting to know that I'm not the only person who wonders whether my toaster is plotting against me.

Vulnerable Future Space Kitty is on the Web

Is vulnerability really so bad?  There could come a point in the future when the details no longer matter.  We no longer care about the photos of your freshman drinking binge, or the ugliness from your first marriage.  There is so much information out there, that if we choose, we can see your whole character.  Your weaknesses and strengths are apparent.  You're not superman.  You're not the devil.  Just a whole human being.

What we end up with is universal transparency.  We are all visible.  There's no shame.  No fear.  We are all compassionate and open.  We are enough.  But it's a bit all or nothing.  One secret, and the trust is broken.

Will such a society of complete openness ever happen?  I don't know.  I don't even know if I'm ready for it.  Vulnerability is scary.  Dangerous even.  Otherwise it wouldn't be vulnerability.  But vulnerability is also beautiful.  It's where real connection happens.  Real understanding could be on our horizon.

If you haven't already seen it, here is the TEDtalk with Brené Brown on "The power of vulnerability".